Thinking...

Apparently if you think you're going mad you aren't... So doesn't that imply if you think you're sane that you're mad? Life is a complicated thing but it can be snatched out from underneath you... In an instant! Why should you hold you're tongue? Why shouldn't you? My brain has now been twisted and manipulated so many times that I like being used.... Hurt and heartbroken. This isn't normal is it? Why do I think of the perfect way to murder someone? However I make sure that it's with the most agony... Is it because I am not letting go of hatred and  the pain I keep inside? I feel like an empty vessel, meaningless, emotionless, worthless... Hopeless! Why don't people just give up on me? 

Well I'm a liar...

I passed all my subjects... But only that! I was lying to myself saying that I could get B's. Well now I'm going to study for the rest of the holidays. Luckily the Christmas holidays are the longest ones all year. Sadly I can't become a genius overnight... However music has always been my best friend so I will get through it! I was looking at religions today and I found out that Witchcraft is a recognised religion, so is Vampirism... I don't go outside as it is but I am going to attempt to go for a run twice a week. Yeah I am lying to myself... Well as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GONNA GET.

Hot or Not!

Well let's see I have hot or not... Yeah I am following the trend but oh well! I watched convos with my 2 year old they are so funny! There are really nice people on hot or not... Ok one nice person so far! He's so cute... Anyway as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GONNA GET!

Life

Well apparently I have a social life... I am going to my friends party today and on Monday  I'm going to the movies with some friends... Also three guys now have confessed their love for me but sadly I don't like any of them that way. I know it's stupid that I'm madly in love with someone who may never feel the same way back but everytime I lose the feeling BAM he does something so sweet that makes me fall for him all over again. I'm starting to piss myself off! Where is some bad boy who is super sweet going to come around? Yeah never, probably in my dreams but not in real life... So as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GONNA GET

Nightmares.

Aren't nightmares just the best... That was sarcasm they suck. Expecally mine because they don't make sense and I have to write then down but it's always full of intense emotions... What are they called? Is it night terrors... I don't know. But this is becoming an occurrence ever couple of months... I thought it was just a one time thing... If they become more regular I don't know what I'll do! Help! I don't even know what I'm dealing with here... That's the worst thing. But as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GONNA GET!

Promises...

See I told you I would blog... Not that anyone is reading this... Anyway today wasn't very productive I planned to get up at 4 am to watch the sunrise... That didn't happen and then I just watched Moonlight for most of the afternoon which was when I got up! Okay tommorrow I'm getting up at 5.20am I don't know why yet but I'll think of it when I get there... However I wonder if I'll get there. So as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GONNA GET.

GOALS!

Okay I know I've said this so many times but this time I will FORCE MYSELF to keep to a blogging schedule... It doesn't even matter if no one is reading it, I just need an outlet for my thoughts, questions and opinions... I know this was short but tommorrow I promise to update you on EVERYTHING and I mean everything... So for now THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GONNA GET...