Hot or Not!

Well let's see I have hot or not... Yeah I am following the trend but oh well! I watched convos with my 2 year old they are so funny! There are really nice people on hot or not... Ok one nice person so far! He's so cute... Anyway as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GONNA GET!

Life

Well apparently I have a social life... I am going to my friends party today and on Monday  I'm going to the movies with some friends... Also three guys now have confessed their love for me but sadly I don't like any of them that way. I know it's stupid that I'm madly in love with someone who may never feel the same way back but everytime I lose the feeling BAM he does something so sweet that makes me fall for him all over again. I'm starting to piss myself off! Where is some bad boy who is super sweet going to come around? Yeah never, probably in my dreams but not in real life... So as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GONNA GET

Nightmares.

Aren't nightmares just the best... That was sarcasm they suck. Expecally mine because they don't make sense and I have to write then down but it's always full of intense emotions... What are they called? Is it night terrors... I don't know. But this is becoming an occurrence ever couple of months... I thought it was just a one time thing... If they become more regular I don't know what I'll do! Help! I don't even know what I'm dealing with here... That's the worst thing. But as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GONNA GET!

Promises...

See I told you I would blog... Not that anyone is reading this... Anyway today wasn't very productive I planned to get up at 4 am to watch the sunrise... That didn't happen and then I just watched Moonlight for most of the afternoon which was when I got up! Okay tommorrow I'm getting up at 5.20am I don't know why yet but I'll think of it when I get there... However I wonder if I'll get there. So as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GONNA GET.

GOALS!

Okay I know I've said this so many times but this time I will FORCE MYSELF to keep to a blogging schedule... It doesn't even matter if no one is reading it, I just need an outlet for my thoughts, questions and opinions... I know this was short but tommorrow I promise to update you on EVERYTHING and I mean everything... So for now THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GONNA GET...

Well....

I have been kicked out since the 7th of June. Apparently I am a phycopath... and am going to kill someone. This is not true and I was admitted into the Mental Health Ward in a hospital that I am not going to mention. I was diagnosed with acute anxiety but I will explain it in more detail later. Innitally I didn't deal with the getting kicked out thing very well however after my little sister sounded like she was anamatronic on the phone. I don't want her to be in the environment I was in, actually I never wanted her to be there. I miss her more everyday. I am doing better and becoming more positive. I moved schools again but this school is much better then the rest. I won't be mentioning the name just yet, I may have some creepy stalkers following my blog, hehe. I don't really want to publish the whole story because I tend to get a bit sad. Music saved me, I mean it. If I didn't have music in my life I don't know where I would be right now. My grandparents have taken me in and I don't know how I could ever pay them back for all the kindness they have given to me. In my eyes they are saints. They have helped me stop being to scared to talk about everything and become myself. Sure I still get sad about things but it's nowhere near as bad as it was. I don't know how I could ever pay them back. If they hadn't taken me in, I would have nowhere to go. With everyday I become myself again and a little less sad. So THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GONNA GET.

No questions...?!

Well I like this guy but he has and girlfriend (let's just call him K)and I like this other guy who sort of likes this other girl but he's super shy but he's also kind of my therapist (let's call him Attack Hug because that's my nickname for him). Anyway I used to be so close with K and now it's like we're nothing but Attack Hug is so shy he won't even give me a hug but he knows every mood I'm in just by looking at me and he wants to be a phycologist I think he'll be an amazing phycologist. 

Anyway I know I don't have a chance with K because of his girlfriend and all and she's super nice and they are such a cute couple but I kind of pissed off everytime I see them together... 

But Attack Hug well he's really shy which I find cute but also at the same time kind of a bummer but we are sort of friends and I can tell him anything and I think he's told me more than most people so I feel special. 

But on a completely random subject change assignments suck and are super stressful I HATE THEM!! All I have been is stressing out and having emotional break downs. But getting to talk to Attack Hug always makes me feel better and he loves this Proffessor Layton game and he sometimes asks for help to solve them I've only got one of them right so far hehe but it's ok because the game is annoying but fun. 

So that all I have to say for now so I guess THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GONNA GET!