Can't sleep...

As you can probably tell from the title I can't sleep so I would like to give you an update on my school holidays so far... Well I've been doing this yoga DVD and the lady is SO IRRITATING! Probably because I'm exercising, I get frustrated. Anyway I've been swimming in the pool and today one of the dogs went missing but we found out someone gave her in to the vet, that was a miracle because my siblings an I were in big trouble :( As usual my step sister had to comment on something so of course it was about me getting more food so in starving! Apparently I'm a fat shit so thanks for that! I am planing to ignore her even if I look like I'm being a snooty cow whatever! DON'T MESS WITH ME AND MY FOOD! So I went outside and cried while lying on the ground nobody noticed as usual... When I finished crying I put in my headphones and turned up the music, jumped on the trampoline... GUESS WHO HAD TO SPOIL IT YOU GUESSED IT MY EVIL STEP SISTER!
Well as always I guess THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GONNA GET!

Time to wake up from a long snooze...

Sorry guys and gals but I was focusing on school :( I know I said I'd work out a blogging schedule and all but don't worry about that. Ok so since last time I've got a new trampoline which was donated from someone I know :) My stepsister and I are alright now but she goes to counselling to learn how to deal with us... If anyone needs therapy I do! I found out my library card isn't working :( I need to read books and my the only thing stopping me is that card and now I have to get a new one... I CAN'T ORDER IN THE BOOK THAT'S NOT IN THE LIBRARY I WANT :( Btw can anyone recommend some books I should read ... I need ideas please

Updates

Well I've moved houses if I haven't already mentioned that... I met some really nice people and I though I was doing the right thing but yet again I was wrong. I was going out with this guy then I figured out that he's more of a brother to me so I tell him and he doesn't go to school the next day, and then gives me a letter that says that he loves me and it was so cute but I don't like him like that I wrote a ledger in reply to that but I don't have the guts to give it to him and he HATES me so if I did give it to him he wouldn't read it anyway! My friend likes him as much as he liked me and now she's not even talking me and sitting with my evil step sister but I have a group of really funny and nice girls to miss too but I miss her I thought we were besties guess not... BLACK CAT OF MISFORTUNE makes another appearance... ( the black cat of misfortune is me if you didn't know :p) But I got the 2 more of the ROSARIO + VAMPIRE SERIES for my birthday and another series that I now love but I finished them in 2 days so idk I guess I'LL HAVE TO READ AN ACTUAL BOOK (DUH DUH DUH)... I'm holding up ok I guess but my evil step sister wants to beat me up again :( but as always THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GONNA GET... And my bedroom has no DOOR (I'll explain it in another blog)

The thing with my step sister...

The thing with my step sister is if you do what she wants she's all happy and then if you don't she'll hurt you or embarrass you... Hitting someone or threatening to embarrass them isn't a joke and it's not funny... Just because you punch me doesn't make it a joke, if you think it is it's not funny and also thanks for pushing me out of your room because I was tired and didn't want to watch Gossip Girl with you! You can't just attack me and pretend like its a joke, you want to do this expect it back because I'm not dealing with this shit anymore... I hate it when one minute your all nice and the next your acting like I'm a criminal... I can be tired it I want to ... So I guess THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GONNA GET

Hey

Hey people,

Just had another day at school, K is being really nice :) and Taylor is alright now I guess... I don't know if it's an act or what but its raining... Finished my media stuff and printed it out and dad doesn't want to help like usual he NEVER wants to do anything with me anymore good luck passing now you have no group and no one helping you. You had it all planned out to. You don't even ask the guy to go anywhere because your afraid of him... He never says he's proud of you and you only really speak when you're in trouble. He doesn't even know that you tried to kill yourself all through primary school. No one really does you can't trust anyone you are even blogging to yourself most people tell you to get a life but my life is here and it may not be luxurious but it's mine. Like they say like father like daughter I'm turning into my dad he never spends time with me so I don't spend time with my little sister. I even made someone up so I could still be friends with her in some type of way... Dad you don't know what we've been through you act like you don't care and I don't know if mum does either or are you playing the lying game again? You want to keep secrets then I'll keep mine and you can keep yours you say don't backchat but you don't know what's even been going on... Best dad in the world award right? You even chucked that out! You threw everything I made out and are you treating me like this because I remind you of mum? Or why are you? You never say your proud of me and I work my ass of at school but you don't care... It used to be me and you face the world we were best friends then you left me to battle everything on my own... And  you wonder why I backchat you, I'm sorry that I'm not the perfect daughter but admit it you aren't the perfect dad... I used to cry myself to sleep but I'm not tough enough for you I'm sorry but I miss mum but you never say anything good about her and I can't leave because I have no where to go... No one understands but I manage to put a smile on my face so that you don't notice, see I'm not a bad actress I'm just not the daughter you want... You can tell and scream all you want you can even send me away but then your just proving my point... Why would I want to spend time with you if you don't even want to spend time with me? 

So THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GOING TO GET... I have clothes, a roof over my head, I go to school and I have my own room that's all I really need I guess... But if like a dad that's there for me but I'm sorry if that's to much to ask for...

Updates from EXPLODE youth camp and stuff

Hey guys geez I need a regular schedule for blogging... Anyway explode was awesome and I also got stung by bluebottles while surfing, I met some awesome people, like Kelly, James, Kaj and the two Issac's we never got to have the campfire though... It was to windy and it rained :(  I've been fighting with J and K for about a week now and J has finally apologised... and admitted to being a jerk. K is still being a bitch and is friends with Taylor again! Taylor needs to mind her own business and stop kissing her friends, yes she kissed Chantelle. My step sister and Lea are fighting again and I don't like Brandon anymore, he's a really good friend though. Leif and I are talking again and he's sending me good morning texts almost every day it's so cute, in a friend kind of way. Almost finished Gossip Girl, and can't wait to get PLL (Pretty Little Liars) boxsets and catch up on them... I want a relationship like Nate, Serena, Chuck and Blaire. It won't happen geez it's not like anyone is reading this anyway... Well I guess
THIS IS AS GOOD AS ITS GONNA GET for now anyway I hope that positive energy butterfly works

Well it was just another day being a teenager... a lot has happened since my last post so I'm going to fill you in. My dad got engaged to a very wonderful women who is a nurse, and she is also pregnant with my step brother or sister. You all remember my step sister right, yet you know the one that I hated her guts yeah that one! Well she wants it to be a boy and if it's not and I quote she'll "Put it in the rubbish bin but I hope she's joking. My house is mainly dominated by girls and if there's another one I don't know how it will work out. Well I had a fight with my friend lets just call her JR because she wouldn't stop talking about my step sister :/... I told her that it was freaking me out and now she's ignoring me. I had to sit by myself @ moring tea today... and everyone including one of my teachers laughted, but @ lunch Brandon sat next to me and we talked about phones and minecradt, he's a pretty chill guy. Next week I'm going to this youth came called EXPLODE and you learn how to surf and do heaps of beach activites, I'm also bunking with my step sister so @ least I'll know someone... my stepsister  and I are also getting along better though! She still a bit crazy but I can live with that... So until next time THIS IS AS GOOOD AS IT'S GONNA GET!